A decision made

I have made my decision at last after a lot of agonising. I've decided not to carry on with the OU, at least not in the near future. I'm greatly disappointed yet at the same time wondering who I was kidding. I'm never going to be a great intellect, so what was I trying to prove. All it did was alienate my family and suck up lots of time. I have been trying to put myself up on a higher level, thinking I am toointelligent to spend hours in front of the TV, yet but by thinking wasn't I somehow looking down on the rest of my family who are happy to do precisiely that? It will be easy to slip back into old habits of just vegging on the sofa watching TV but at least I will be able to carry on crafting. I will miss the way my mind was opened by the OU, how I started to delight in the arts and appreciate other cultures and ways of thinking. But I am only Mrs Average and nothing special, so who am I do try and get above myself?
Plus, I can't afford it.