New year goals

Most people with stitching blogs are posting about their achievements last year and their goals for next year. I expected to be full of excitement at the prospect of joining in ths year, but life events have taken a turn that is currently overshadowing any plans for stitching in 2011. I do have some targets though. I have started working on a small Joan Elliot design that is sparkly and cheery. I did intend to work on it in the week before Christmas but in the event it wasn't started until a couple of days ago. I have two days left before I go back to work and I intend to spend as much time stithing on it as possible during these days. I'll carry it on until it is finished, and then I shall go back to the baby orangutan and work on that until it is done (I am guessing March). I then have to get a stocking stitched and made for Tom by next Christmas. It's a Dimensions design, and therefore fabulous, but I know it will be tedious to stitch because of their charts and the mixture of half cross stitch and full cross stitch. ( I hate half crosses!).
I also fully intend to keep up with the TUL, although I still haven't found a suitable container. In fact, I'll go and look one out now...

TUSAL

The totally Useless SAL is now being organised by Daffycat. At some time, I'll try and add a link in the sidebar, but it's too early in the morning to get my head round that right now! Why not join us?

Feathers in the Nest

Jennifer is hosting a wonderful Giveaway at her blog, Feathers in the Nest. Fly over there and have ago!!

I can't count

I'm furious!! I have been working on a jacket for Tom for a few weeks now, a Debbie Bliss shawl collared jacket in four colours with scandinavian reindeer and snowflakes worked in some of the blocks. Because of the blocks of colour it was required to count rows, and after I finished the back I realised that the bottom block was 5 rows too short as I had read the wrong size instruction. I decided to ignore it and just work the fronts to match as 5 rows would only be about half an inch short. Now it is almost completed and I have started to sew it up, somehow I miscounted again, and the fronts are two rows shorter than the back!! It's just too much to get away with and as I have spent all day knitting the banding and shawl collar onto the thing, I'm not going to take it all apart and redo it now. Grrrrr! I can't believe I have made such fundamental errors, I've never done anything like that ever before. My only excuse is that I have been unwell all through the time I have worked on it, so maybe thats why.
It is now being cast aside and I am going to start stitching again. My woolly mojo has come to an end for now.

Will someone please turn out the lights now?

Second Dear Diary

This should be my very last personal post. I'm going to have a whinge and then it will be crafts only after that. The reason I will have this last moan is so that I can look back and check myself how I am at the end of next year compared to this.

The last 6 weeks have really been a nightmare part of which was described in the last post. I really can't believe this is happening but I came down with yet another fever this week and have lost another couple of days. I am now getting concerned about whether there is an underlying reason for this or if it could possible be a side effect of the weaning off Paroxetine. The side effects I have experienced before are the well known phenomenons of 'head zaps' and acute anxiety, but I am wondering if feverish episodes could be something too? If so, I don't know what I can do, and I certainly am worried about work and having to keep taking time off. I suppose I will have to talk to my GP, but she doesn't seem to know much about the subject - when I got the 'head zaps' last time, she didn't realise it was a withdrawal symptom of the paroxetine and I had CAT scans and brains scans as she was worried about tumours. It's only because of my recognition of them this time around and subsequent research on the internet that I now know what they are! Internet research is not a good idea and I am now quite worried aout my ability to come off the paroxetine, but I am still determined, so hopefully this time next year I will be off it completely.

I have been wavering for ages about the OU and I have now decided to stop, at least for a couple of years. I am reluctant to do this, but I just don't think I have the time to do a good job right now. Plus I do want to get back to my stitching and I am getting into cooking and also cake decorating all of which benefit the family. I do still feel I have something to prove to myself as well as my family, and yet at the same time I wonder why I feel like that. Am I such a failure in life? As many have pointed out to me, I can still semi study by myself and still read the course book I have, but I know I need the discipline of a course to actually do it. So I have decided to stop beating myself up about it all, have a couple of years and then look again.

What I really have to concentrate on is getting healthy. I'm 55 in a couple of weeks, and that seems somehow a real milestone to me. Born in 1955 and 55 years old seems nice and symmetrical and 5 is my favourite number for some reason. Only 15 years to go and I wll be 70 and that frightens me. I have seen so many people age in a way that I don't want to; I don't want to lose my marbles, have a healthy body and be a burden to my children, nor do I want to have a healthy mind in a decrepit body and be frustrated, cranky and a damn nuisance to my children. I have lots of damage to undo, the first being the obesity issue which underpins everything and I really have to address that before I can even consider anything else. I need to sit down and plan a menu and stick to it. It shouldn't be difficult, I just need to do it!! When I have lost a couple of stone, I hope my hip will stop hurting and I can start walking and cycling again, and then really get going. So thats my plan - lose two stone and then start exercising. My target will is to be cycling to work at least twice a week, and to have lost 5 stone by this time next year. It is possible, and I bloody well intend to do it!! Hopefully I will do the Moonwalk in 2012, a year later than planned.

So, stitching plans are:
Finish Tom's cardigan I am halfway through
Knit second Baby Crofter jumper
Knit stripy sweater
(All hopefully by Christmas)

Then :
Over Christmas period start Tom's Christmas Stocking (to have completed by next year)
New Year - finish the baby Orangutan for Becky
When done, carry on with stocking until done.

If that all happens it will be a miracle!